Amor Verus Numquam Moritur
by Katerina Banecourt
Summary: Magnus didn't want to send Camille to the Clave, but despite their history, despite what Camille still means to him, it wasn't just her life hanging in the balance. He couldn't be so selfish to condemn Raphael, his entire clan, for her sake. And hadn't she brought this upon herself? He tells himself Camille is his past, that he's happy with Alec. Until it all comes crashing down...


_**Summary:**__ Delivering Camille to the Clave is the furthest from what Magnus wants to do, but despite their history, despite what Camille still means to him, it wasn't just her life hanging in the balance. He had to think of the bigger picture in all this. He couldn't be so selfish as to condemn Raphael and his entire clan for Camille's sake. And had she not brought this upon herself through her actions? Still it's an impossible choice he's forced to make. One that haunts him. Yet, he tells himself that Camille is his past - she had broken his heart, that he's happy now, with Alec. Until it all comes crashing down...__  
__**Pairings:**__ Magnus/Camille, mentions Magnus/Alec, and possibly others  
__**Genres:**__ Angst, Tragedy, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, a bit of Romance  
__**Spoilers:**__ Up to 2x04 "Day of Wrath", particularly episodes/scenes featuring Camille as well as Magnus. There are also references to events in "The Bane Chronicles"! Will probably contain some strong similarities, and thus spoilers, for some events & plot details from episodes after "Day of Wrath".  
__**Warnings:**__ This story contains violence, including torture and attempted rape. There will also be PTSD-related content, namely depression and suicidal thoughts/suicide attempt. __If any of this could be triggering__, or simply makes you uncomfortable; __don't read this story!  
__**Author's Notes:**__ First and foremost; this story is dedicated to my dear friend, Mia, who's been helping me immensely with fleshing out details of this story by doing a private roleplay with me based on this story idea. Granted, the actual story won't follow how Mia and I played the scenes out in every aspect and detail, but it will be quite similar in general terms and in fact features dialogue and other details heavily based on how we did them together, so I really am considering this story somewhat of a collaboration with her!_

_Secondly, as I still have only watched "Shadowhunters" up to 2x11, and so far only read "The Bane Chronicles", and this also is ultimately an AU story, it won't be completely, one hundred percent canon accurate, and I no doubt did take some creative liberties - some deliberately (because I enjoy putting my own spin on things), and some simply because I have yet to finish the series and read the books, and I refuse to look every detail up on wikis, unless it's something I absolutely _want_ to and feel I _must_ know ASAP, as not only would it spoil the rest of the series/books for me, but I find that sometimes wikis encompass glaring errors which tends to rather annoy me._

_And lastly, although I typically only post stories once I also have completed making the cover artwork for them to upload alongside the story in question, unfortunately I haven't had a chance to really work on the artwork for this story yet as, rather than making an image edit as I do for most of my stories, this is one of the stories for which I'm actually going to draw the artwork by hand, so it's more time consuming. And I wanted to start posting this story as close to Mia's birthday as possible (and now it's already a few days late). So, the artwork will follow at a later date, not sure when, but it is coming!_

_Anyways, without any further ado; enjoy reading!_😊

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**Amor Verus Numquam Moritur**

_Prologue_

This wasn't what he wanted... In fact it was the furthest thing from what he would wish to do, to betray Camille - to betray everything they once used to have with each other - like this. The mere thought broke his heart. But Aldertree, the Clave, they were not giving him any other option. If he refused to help them apprehend Camille, Raphael and the entire local vampire clan would suffer for it.

So, what choice did he really have? As much as he didn't want to do this to Camille, he could not condemn all those other vampires in order to protect her. No matter how much he had once loved her, no matter how much Camille may still mean to him even today.

And so, despite his reluctance, despite wishing there was another way, Magnus ultimately went about preparing for what he would have to do. Yet, first, he made sure to get Raphael and Simon out of his home, sending them on their way to Catarina with a list of additional things he supposedly required to fortify the trap he would set up for Camille. After all, this was hard enough for him as it was, the last thing he needed was to have an audience present, watching as he betrayed the woman he had once loved so very deeply, the one who had saved him, and yet also the one who had broken him...

Finally, though, just a few minutes later, after battling his contradicting feelings on the entire matter, his reluctance and conscience for another few moments, Magnus had at last done it. He had successfully summoned Camille and trapped her in a silver cage.

Initially, while irked by the means by which Magnus had brought her to his home - summoning her using her grave dirt, Camille had been happy to see him again. Especially as, being on the run really wasn't much fun _(although, granted it sure as hell beat being stuck in a coffin). _However, that brief initial joy which had overcome her at seeing him - and more importantly, seeing him without an audience of shadowhunters and a baby vampire around, quickly dissipated and was replaced with seething anger when, just as she had overcome her initial surprise over being brought to this place by his magicks, Magnus again used magic, only now to create a silver cage around her. In hindsight, she should have seen this coming, Camille supposed, she should've known when Magnus apologized to her, and she had in fact been about to ask what he was apologizing for, but before she could form the words she had already received a perfectly clear answer as to why he was sorry as the cage had appeared around her.

"Magnus! What the hell!?" Camille repeated her words from right after he had summoned her just a few brief moments ago, although they were now voiced considerably angrier, before snapping in a semi-hiss, "Let me out of here!" She may have banged her hands against the thick metal bars or grabbed and yanked at them to underline her words, and more so her anger, if it weren't for the fact that they were silver. So, instead she remained standing where she was, just an inch or two away from the cage's metal bars, her angry eyes set in a glare upon Magnus, her lips pursed into an angry pout as her hands clenched into tight fists at her sides.

Instead of talking to Camille - even just to berate her, Magnus remained silent as he took to pacing back and forth, looking every so often towards Camille, anger gleaming in his eyes, along with even perhaps a hint of disgust. He wondered if and how he could hold himself back from being so angry with Camille, whether he could keep from making this personal. After all, this _wasn't_ about Camille breaking his heart over a century ago. No, this was a much bigger issue, this wasn't about them, he reminded himself. And while their history no doubt also fueled his anger towards her and just this entire situation as a whole, this was about things she had done, things she had allowed those under her jurisdiction to do. There were many things being held against her and now it was affecting others he cared about, so how could he _not_ be angry? Yet, the truth was, ultimately, he was even more so angry at himself, particularly because he had been able to keep her in line back then. But now, in the interceding years, she had grown more reckless, even putting the lives of innocent people - _of children_, on the line for her selfish needs and her games. He hated it. He hated the fact that he had been unable to do anything to save those mundanes that she or her underlings had drained. He just couldn't comprehend how Camille could have done this, any of it. Sure, perhaps, Camille always had somewhat of a mean streak, but she hadn't been this ruthless, and more to the point so _reckless_ when they had been together. So, he just couldn't fathom how she could have so flagrantly and deliberately let children be hurt and killed, how she could have so flagrantly gone against the Accords. He mostly stayed neutral when it came to Shadowhunter and mundie business, because he had himself to protect, but now was the time to act. And well, if it hadn't been for Raphael, who had been tortured by the ruthless Nephilim because of Camille's actions, he wouldn't have found the courage to summon the woman who broke him.

Even at Camille's outburst he remained silent, simply continuing to circle the cage. All things considered, perhaps Camille truly did deserve this. Magnus supposed she'd had this coming for a long time now, and yet even so, still he could not help the conflict that was happening with his emotions. He could tell, could admit it at least to himself - he still had some feelings for her, but he was happy now with Alec. ... Or was he? He was feeling so conflicted, he didn't even know what the answer to his own question was.

When Magnus didn't answer, instead just pacing around the cage he had trapped her in, Camille silently watched him for a while. Once two, three minutes had passed like this and it became fairly obvious that, apparently, Magnus had no intention to answer her question, or say anything at all for that matter, Camille decided enough was enough, "Don't tell me you're doing the Clave's bidding now, because of your _silly_ infatuation with that boy-toy Shadowhunter?" she scoffed, giving an incredulous shake of her head, even as her eyes gleamed with just a hint of amusement - although, really she was absolutely _not _amused by _any_ of this.

Magnus hadn't had any intention of talking to Camille whatsoever. He would have let her blabber on and on and try to convince him to let her out but he would never have budged _(or in any case that's what he told himself he would do)_. Yet, those aspirations only lasted until she mentioned Alexander. He had still been pacing, deep in thought, when he heard. He immediately stopped, turning to look at her, and lifted a finger as if to scold her for what she was doing. "Leave Alec out of this. This is between _you_ and _me_," he told her, sounding none too happy about any of this. He then took back to his pacing, circling around the cage that he had created for his former lover.

"The same you and me who crashed Queen Victoria's coronation, glamoured as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge?" Camille questioned, her tone somewhere between sweet teasing and taunting, moving a little closer to the bars of the cage he had her trapped in, watching him walking back and forth. After a moment of silence she went on, her voice now a scoff, though there was still a well masked underlying twinge of hurt lacing the words, "I mean, really, do enlighten me, Magnus. With all our history, all we had - _still have_, between us, why would you do this to me, summoning me just to put me into a cage, if not as some _twisted_ ploy to woo your little Shadowhunter?"

Magnus couldn't help but think back to that time, but no matter how much he wanted to smile at the thought of those fun memories, he couldn't. He couldn't bear for those Downworlders to suffer for something they hadn't done. They were his family... and he would do anything to protect them. "Believe me, this wasn't an easy decision," he finally told her as he stopped in front of her again, looking Camille dead in the eye. While she might think that all this was a mere ploy to impress Alec, she was wrong. The time for fun and games was over, and there were serious matters at hand. "But you crossed the line. I won't let Raphael suffer for _your_ bad deeds."

"So this is about one insubordinate vamp?" Camille scoffed incredulously, crossing her arms in front of her chest, lips pursed into an angry pout. Was Magnus really going to throw away everything they'd had, everything they still had, over something like _that_?!

It was bad enough to think that he would do something like this to her just to score points with that Shadowhunter, who didn't even seem all that into Magnus as it stood, whether that was because Alec just simply struggled with who he was _(an understandable assumption with how arch-conservative the whole lot of them were, Shadowhunters that was; most of them bigots stuck in the overly prude Victorian, or even Puritan days), _or perhaps simply because Magnus wasn't his type... Frankly, Camille didn't care either way, but it really didn't seem like some match made in heaven, let alone one that could actually last and weather any trouble coming along over time. All of which didn't even take into account that little Alec was a mortal, perhaps a more endurable one due to being a Shadowhunter, but mortal all the same. So, yes, it would be bad enough for Magnus to cage her like some animal to presumably hand her over to the Clave just to woo that Shadowhunter, to throw away their long history, the feelings that still lingered between them, just for some fleeting little romance. But to think he would do so just over some little misdeeds of some insubordinate vampire? How could Magnus do that to her?

Listening to Camille's protests Magnus couldn't believe what he was hearing, couldn't believe her dismissive attitude towards this entire situation. Here he was, trying to find a way for Raphael and Camille to both live, but the Clave was giving him no actual choice in the matter. And he couldn't let Raphael suffer for Camille's actions. It would be wrong and cruel, and he really just couldn't do that given his connection with the vamp. He looked at Camille sternly, angrily. It was time to show her his side of things. "You've sired _hundreds_ of vampires. Your _children_," he emphasized, "As a warlock, I can have none. The Downworlders I take under my wing, _they_ are my children. _My family_." While speaking his tone had become more stern, yet still wasn't unkind, "I'm sorry, Camille. I'll do whatever it takes to protect them."

As she listened to Magnus speaking Camille's fierce, defiant expression faltered ever so slightly, admittedly a part of her having expected those remarks. After all, she knew Magnus. She knew him so well, perhaps better than anyone else ever did. Just as he might very well be the one person who truly knew her. Especially the sides of her hardly anyone ever got to see, especially nowadays - in fact, he knew parts of her _no one else _ever knew, a gentler, more caring side.

She hesitated to speak - to respond, remaining silent for a few moments as she watched Magnus. Finally, though, she stepped closer to the bars again, pointing out, "The fear of loneliness has always been your achilles heel, Magnus," she spoke softly, trying to make her voice sound less like she actually cared, and more as if it was meant as a slight - even though she wasn't sure she actually meant her words in that way, as some sort of taunt. It just was habit, she supposed, her way of protecting herself; pretending she didn't give a damn and that any form of emotions or attachments were for fools, especially when you were immortal, manifested most notably in her claim that true love didn't exist for their kind, the very reason why she had walked away from their relationship all those years ago. Or in any case, that's what she had claimed, it was what she had told herself, kept telling herself... And even while she knew that surely her words would serve to irk and upset him further - that they might perhaps even hurt Magnus like salt thrown onto a fresh, open wound - still she continued, her gaze set on his face, "You don't do well with losing the people you love," she said, her voice somewhere between seductively sweet and yet almost a bit amused, "do you?" All the while she was speaking Camille was observing and studying Magnus, the expression upon his face, gauging his reaction to every word that left her lips. She paused once more, briefly, before tilting her head slightly as she reminded him, "I am _the only one _you can count on to be here for you _forever_, Magnus. You know that. _That's_ why you love me. And you always will."

Looking intently at him Camille simply let her words sink in for a moment or two, before she implored him, "So, choose me," her eyes locked with his, her words underlined by a slight flourish of her hand, as if she were beckoning him to come closer.

Magnus had turned his back on Camille when she began to speak again, telling him that his fear of loneliness had always been his weakness. "Don't," he urged her firmly, raising a finger as if to emphasize his point. He wanted her to stop. He wanted not to remember the things that they had both shared. Because remembering made this all so much harder, it made it all the more painful. Yet, still, what she was saying was true, of course. Behind all the glamorous parties, there was still one thing that Magnus looked for: a reason to live. As a warlock, it was always one person after the other - the seemingly countless people he loved as a result of him being immortal.

His mind begged him to speak, to block out everything that Camille was throwing at him. To block all those accusations. But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't deny the truth her words held. And perhaps, yes, it was Camille that had stayed in his life the longest... even if, today, he was about to send her to the Clave for Raphael's sake. She was the one who knew him behind the mask he put on himself, she was the one who saw all his true colors. And yet, she was also the one who decided to break his heart.

But it was true.

He still loved her.

It was a realization that conflicted him deeply. Because there was a part of him that loved Alec, too. A part of him that knew that Alec could possibly be the love that he had been looking for for so long, that Alec could be the one person who would not leave him. And yet, there was also Camille, who had broken his heart. Camille, who stood before him today, asking him to choose her. Camille, whom he loved very deeply and whose caring side he'd seen.

He approached Camille slowly, thinking still about his reply. When he had finally come closer to her, about a few inches from the bars, he hesitated before speaking. "Enjoy Idris. I hear the weather's a delight." Then he once again turned his back on her, walking away from the trap he had put her in, preparing both physically, and quite frankly even more so, emotionally to open a portal to Idris so he could just get this all done and behind him already. He just wanted this to be over with, especially as he could already feel his resolve begin to waver.

As Magnus just outright seemed to dismiss her, in a cold scoff no less, Camille gaped slightly, disbelief and even the faintest hint of stunned shock fleeting across her face. However, after just a brief moment or two she had composed herself. "_You can't do this, Magnus_!" she retorted, though her tone was now not so much defiant or angry anymore, although there still was a twinge of outrage lacing her voice. Yet, even though she masked it well, and almost anyone else would have surely missed it, her voice now also carried a hint of genuine fear. She shook her head both in disbelief as well as frustration, yet her eyes never left his face. "You can't do this to me! Not with _everything_ we've shared, _everything we still have between us_," Camille protested, imploring him, "You _can't_ send me to the Clave; you _know_ how they treat us Downworlders! You know what they did to Raphael, just to force him to betray me to them... They will _torture me_, or _worse_!" as she was speaking her usual mask of calm and aloof indifference, of unshakable confidence, gradually began slipping away, "_Please, Magnus, you love me_ \- or at least part of you still does, _I know you do_... You can't possibly hate me that much for leaving all those years ago? You _must've known_ we'd eventually be reunited..." she was all but begging, pleading to him at this point, her eyes burning and stinging and surely, if she were mortal, tears would by now be freely streaking down her cheeks. She bit her lip, swallowing hard, trying to somehow regain a measure of composure, her eyes still set unwaveringly upon his face. "_Please, Magnus_, don't do this to me, " she repeated, before adding in a disillusioned mutter, "Because if you do in fact hate me this much, then you might as well just kill me now. Just don't send me to the Clave..."

Magnus was about to go ahead and create the portal that would take Camille to the Clave when he stopped in his tracks. The tone in her voice had changed. He instantly picked up on it. He would be crazy not to notice, even after all these years. He presumed that it was unavoidable that he would still know how to read Camille's emotions, given the love that had blossomed between them all those years ago, given how he knew the little things about her that she usually hid so well. Her words were pleading him, _begging_ him to let her go. But he couldn't... He had Raphael and a lot of other vampires to think of, to protect. But he knew Camille was right, too. He knew what those Nephilim did to rogue Downworlders... to Downworlders who mademistakes. They were hypocrites, of course. The Clave always had been. They would punish Downworlders who made mistakes, not giving them a second chance, but whenever they had made mistakes towards Downworlders, they were quick to dismiss it as an act aimed towards protecting their kind... Even if in truth it was for the same reason that those mistaken Downworlders fought against the Clave and their rules. He slowly turned to Camille, enough to see her almost crying. It was true. There was still a part of him that loved her, that wanted to let her go. He would have handled everything else.

But he couldn't abandon Raphael.

He couldn't abandon the person who had been in his company for many years now. The person who, like Ragnor, sassed him meeting upon meeting. The person who had always been there for him, who kept tabs on the vampire community for him. The person who had become one of his closest friends. He just couldn't do that.

Tears stung his eyes despite the hardened expression he wore. He couldn't choose. He wished he didn't _have_ to choose.

He wished he didn't have to let Camille go.

When her words seemed to cause Magnus to hesitate with going through with sending her away, a glimpse of hope sparked within Camille. Perhaps, he would let her go after all... Perhaps, his lingering feelings for her would make him see reason and make him realize that he couldn't do this to her, no matter what.

"_Please_," Camille repeated softly, her gaze still on Magnus's face, not missing the emotions glinting in his eyes, even though his overall expression had remained stern, angry even.

Magnus looked into her eyes for one last time. "I'm sorry, Camille. I can't let you go," he told her, barely managing to keep his voice steady, before he looked away. There was a hint of regret in his eyes, anger at himself for sending the only person who could have understood him away. A hint of sadness. He opened the portal to Idris then, closing his eyes to prevent the tears that threatened to rise and break free. He hardened himself. Yet it was like losing her for the first time all over again...

Camille's expression faltered, shock and hurt - _heartbreak_ even, fleeting across her face, through her eyes, as Magnus announced that he couldn't let her go. With stunned, _shocked_, disbelief she watched how Magnus turned away from her and started opening a portal. Already feeling the pull of the portal, trying to suck her in, Camille exclaimed, "How could you!? I thought you _loved_ me!" She wanted to hurl all the insults in the world at him, especially frustrated by how he refused to even look at her as he betrayed her this deeply, this profoundly, but instead of insults all she could get over her lips was another desperate plea for him to not do this to her. Even as she, and even the cage he had created to keep her trapped, were sucked into the portal, which promptly transported her to the Clave's headquarters in Idris, while the portal in Magnus's penthouse closed just as soon as she had vanished.

Once Camille was gone and the portal was closed Magnus sank into a nearby armchair. His eyes were a little glassy, but his expression was even enough to mask the whirlwind of emotions raging within him. With how this all had turned out he was glad he'd been able to get Simon and Raphael out of the house beforehand. He wouldn't want anyone to see him like this, he wouldn't want anyone to know that even a powerful being like him, someone typically acting so aloof and nonchalant about things, experienced disappointments and self-doubts, _regrets_, when it came to themselves. He sighed lowly, heavily, and for a moment he just sat there all but motionless, his face in his hands, trying to come to terms with all this, with what he'd had to do today, with the feelings all this brought forth. Had Camille not brought this upon herself with her reckless, _ruthless_, actions? By preying on mundanes, by allowing members of her clan to do so, to hurt - _kill_ \- people? ... Had Camille not broken his heart all those years ago, as if it had been nothing, leaving him utterly devastated? And, ultimately, more to the point; had he not only barely a week or so ago claimed that what he and Camille used to have, that what he felt for her, was ancient history? He was in the process of finding happiness with Alec now. ... How was he supposed to tell Alec that his feelings for Camille were creeping up again? How was he supposed to tell him that they were resurfacing, and that having to send Camille to the Clave was utterly depressing for him? That it broke his heart? Should he even tell the young Shadowhunter at all? Would it not be smarter - _kinder_ \- to keep this all to himself? What good could it possibly do to anyone to tell Alec about any of this? None. Besides, it was done, there was no turning back, no taking any of it back. Camille was gone. She had been gone from his life for over one hundred and thirty-eight years, he had managed to get over her, over the heartbreak of losing her, once before. Surely, he could do it again. He ought to look ahead, he ought to focus on his budding relationship with Alexander, whom he genuinely and deeply cared about, and who Magnus was sure could make him happy.

But even so, this was all just such a mess, it was all just so confusing... His mind just kept racing, his thoughts were running in circles and yet not going anywhere. And so, because Magnus had always despised letting himself dwell on things he didn't wish to think of, the warlock soon snapped his fingers, a glass of exquisite scotch - on the rocks - promptly appearing in his hand, a deep, heavy sigh escaping past his lips. Perhaps he really ought to just put off thinking about those problems, perhaps he should leave trying to make sense of all these conflicting feelings, for another day. Perhaps he ought to just do what mundies did when heartbreak came and just drown his problems and sorrows away, at least for now.

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_**Author's Notes:**__ Thanks for reading, I very much hope you enjoyed this first chapter, or rather the prologue, for this story! As always, feedback would be much appreciated as it makes me happy to know if people enjoy my stories, and what in particular they like about them. Plus, it really helps with keeping me motivated to actually sit down and work on updates. So, please, take a minute to leave a review, and make sure to subscribe if you like the story and want to know what happens next! _😊


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